#css ../wikidata/TwoHundredDollarLaptop.css
== The $200 Laptop Is Coming! ==
//"We are putting a deluxe laptop in the hands of every lucky child in the world!"// -- **Ebenezer Scrooge**, TLPC CEO
TwoHundredDollarLaptopSmall.jpg
Picture courtesy of MassimoSantoro (sue him, sue him!)
=== A Laptop for the Elite ===
The $200 laptop aims to create healthy **free competition** by providing **better performance** and **more features**
for those who **can afford** it.
the right laptop for your spoiled brats
now for just $400!
=== A $rich$ set of features ===
Our first product, the **XOXO**, comes with:
* wide-screen 16" display, **2000 ANSI lumen** for perfect visibility even in full sunlight
* dual-core SMP: **AMD Geode** + **Intel ULV** -- no need to choose!
* dual-channel, **Double Data Rate** Corsair PC200 memory
* dual-keyboard with **independent layouts**: type both in US and JP at the same time!
* dual-flash **RAID1 storage technology** for improved data reliability!
* dual-boot with GRUB in the OS of your choice: preloaded with '''Ubloantu Linux''' and '''Windows EXbedded''' -- NEW!
* Patented WI-FI Fonero technology: choose to be '''both a Bill and a Linus'''!
* UAC-CCS DRM and copy protection scheme for your **Genuine Advantage**!
* **Giant** triple-trackpad: simultaneously control up to 3 players in MMRPGs!
* Dual lead-acid **hot-swappable** battery packs for improved mileage!
* Dual **firewall/webfilter**: only access our PG-rated marketing web sites!
* Online library of downloadable politically correct, violence free, pointless **video games**!
* Automatically **charge your credit card** on every purchase made by your child!
(Designed by the '''Department of Redundancy Department''')
=== Smart Computer, Dumb Kid ===
If you really **love** your kids, then you **must** buy them the **best** on the market!
Designed from the ground up for the children of rich consumer countries:
the laptop that grows along with your kids*.
With twice as many features, your children will learn **twice as much**!
Think about it, you **know** it's true!
[*] we'll make sure you will have to upgrade it every year!
=== Charity is for wimps! ===
Join our original "GIVE 0, GET 2" program NOW!
See for yourself from this independent market analysis:
|| || competitor || **G0G2** ||
|| //You spend// || $400 || **$399.99** ||
|| //You give// || 1 XO || **0** ||
|| //You GET// || 1 XO || **1 XOXO** ||
|| //Pay per view// || na || **charged on your card** ||
=== What others are saying ===
//"They want me to be a whore!"//
-- LinusTorvalds
//"He doesn't scare me as much as he scares others."//
-- RichardStallman
//"Jesus Christ, who are these people?"//
-- BillGates
//"I don't remember agreeing to that."//
-- JanetReno
//"This is horseshit. Horseshit, horseshit, horseshit. And for those of you who don't know what that means, it's the shit that comes from a horse!"//
-- Greg, ColumbiaInternet
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