#css TwoHundredDollarLaptop.css OneWindozePerChild.png == The $200 Laptop is Coming! == //"We are putting a deluxe laptop in the hands of every lucky child in the world!"// -- **Ebenezer Scrooge**, TLPC CEO TwoHundredDollarLaptopSmall.jpg
Picture courtesy of MassimoSantoro (sue him, sue him!)
=== A Laptop for the Elite ===
The $200 laptop aims to create healthy **free competition** by providing **better performance** and **more features** for those who **can afford** it.
the right laptop for your spoiled brats
now for just $400!
=== A $rich$ set of features === Our first product, the **XOXO**, comes with:
* wide-screen 16" display, **2000 ANSI lumen** for perfect visibility even in full sunlight * dual-core SMP: **AMD Geode** + **Intel ULV** -- no need to choose! * dual-channel, **Double Data Rate** Corsair PC200 memory * dual-keyboard with **independent layouts**: type both in US and JP at the same time! (PATENT PENDING IN NIGERIA) * dual-flash **RAID1 storage technology** for improved data reliability! * dual-boot with GRUB in the OS of your choice: preloaded with **Ubloantu Linux** and **Windows EXbedded** -- NEW! * Patented WI-FI Fonero technology: choose to be **both a Bill and a Linus**! * UAC-CCS DRM and copy protection scheme for your **Genuine Advantage**! * **Giant** triple-trackpad: simultaneously control up to 3 players in MMRPGs! * Dual lead-acid **hot-swappable** battery packs for improved mileage! * Dual **firewall/webfilter**: only access our PG-rated marketing web sites! * Online library of downloadable politically correct, violence free, pointless **video games**! * Automatically **charge your credit card** on every purchase made by your child!
Designed by the **Department of Redundancy Department**. === Smart Computer, Dumb Kid ===
If you really **love** your kids, then you **must** buy them the **best** on the market! Designed from the ground up for the children of rich consumer countries: the laptop that grows along with your kids*. With twice as many features, your children will learn **twice as much**! Think about it, you **know** it's true!
[*] we'll make sure you will have to upgrade it every year!
=== Charity is for wimps! ===
Join our original "GIVE 0, GET 2" program NOW!
See for yourself from this independent market analysis: || || competitor || **G0G2** || || //You spend// || $400 || **$399.99** || || //You give// || 1 XO || **0** || || //You GET// || 1 XO || **1 XOXO** || || //Pay per view// || na || **charged on your card** || === A glimpse into the future === The TLPC Consortium is proud to unveil its UpcomingProducts roadmap, with **enhanced collaboration and document sharing features**. === What others are saying === //I don't smoke nearly as much crack as I'm accused of// -- CosmicPenguin //"When are we going to stop prototyping and start writing code for real?"// -- DavidWoodhouse //"The wisdom of allowing Java programs to mess with physical memory is not a topic which should need further discussion here."// -- JonathanCorbet on the LWN Kernel Page //"They want me to be a whore!"// -- LinusTorvalds --- Visit our [[http://www.mslinux.org/ | secret sponsor]]