-== The $200 Laptop Is Coming! ==
+#css TwoHundredDollarLaptop.css
-<div>TwoHundredDollarLaptopSmall.jpg</div>
+OneWindozePerChild.png
+
+== The $200 Laptop is Coming! ==
+
+//"We are putting a deluxe laptop in the hands of every lucky child in the world!"// -- **Ebenezer Scrooge**, TLPC CEO
+
+
+TwoHundredDollarLaptopSmall.jpg
+
+<div style="font-size: small;">Picture courtesy of MassimoSantoro (sue him, sue him!)</div>
=== A Laptop for the Elite ===
-<div style="font-size: 18pt">The two hundred dollar laptop competes
-with the OLPC and the CMPC by providing **better performance** and **more features**
+<div style="font-size: 18pt">
+The $200 laptop aims to create healthy **free competition** by providing **better performance** and **more features**
for those who **can afford** it.</div>
-
-<div style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 24pt; color: gren; text-align: center">The right laptop for your spoiled brats</div>
-<div style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 24pt; color: red; text-align: center">Now for just $200!</div>
+<div style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 24pt; color: green; text-align: center">the right laptop for your spoiled brats</div>
+<div style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 24pt; color: red; text-align: center">now for just $400!</div>
=== A $rich$ set of features ===
+Our first product, the **XOXO**, comes with:
+
<div style="font-size: 16pt">
- * wide-screen 16" display, **2000 ANSI lumen** for perfect visibility while facing the sun
+ * wide-screen 16" display, **2000 ANSI lumen** for perfect visibility even in full sunlight
* dual-core SMP: **AMD Geode** + **Intel ULV** -- no need to choose!
* dual-channel, **Double Data Rate** Corsair PC200 memory
- * dual-keyboard with **independent layouts**: type both in US and JP at the same time!
+ * dual-keyboard with **independent layouts**: type both in US and JP at the same time! <span style="font-size: small; color: red">(PATENT PENDING IN NIGERIA)</span>
* dual-flash **RAID1 storage technology** for improved data reliability!
- * dual-boot with GRUB in the OS of your choice: preloaded with '''Ubloatu Linux''' and '''Windows EXbedded''' -- <span style="color: red">NEW!</span>
- * Patented wi-fi Fonero technology: choose to be '''both a Bill and a Linus'''!
+ * dual-boot with GRUB in the OS of your choice: preloaded with **Ubloantu Linux** and **Windows EXbedded** -- <span style="color: red">NEW!</span>
+ * Patented WI-FI Fonero technology: choose to be **both a Bill and a Linus**!
* UAC-CCS DRM and copy protection scheme for your **Genuine Advantage**!
- * Triple trackpad: simultaneously use both your hands and your nose!
+ * **Giant** triple-trackpad: simultaneously control up to 3 players in MMRPGs!
* Dual lead-acid **hot-swappable** battery packs for improved mileage!
- * Dual **firewall-webfilter**: only access our PG-rated marketing web sites!
+ * Dual **firewall/webfilter**: only access our PG-rated marketing web sites!
* Online library of downloadable politically correct, violence free, pointless **video games**!
- * Automatically charge your credit card on every purchase made by your child!
+ * Automatically **charge your credit card** on every purchase made by your child!
</div>
-=== Smarter computers, dumber kids! ===
+Designed by the **Department of Redundancy Department**.
+
+=== Smart Computer, Dumb Kid ===
+
+<div style="font-size: 14pt">
+
+If you really **love** your kids, then you **must** buy them the **best** on the market!
+
+Designed from the ground up for the children of rich consumer countries:
+the laptop that grows along with your kids*.
+
+With twice as many features, your children will learn **twice as much**!
+Think about it, you **know** it's true!
-<div style="font-size: 14pt; color: blue">
-This laptop has been designed from the ground up for the children of the consumism,
-the computer that grows along with your kids (*).
</div>
-<div style="font-size: 8pt; color: gray">
-[*] we'll make sure you'll have to upgrade it every year!
+<div style="font-size: 6pt; color: gray">
+
+[*] we'll make sure you will have to upgrade it every year!
+
</div>
-(Bought to you by the '''Department of Redundancy Departmenet''')
+=== Charity is for wimps! ===
+
+<div style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 24pt; text-align: center">
+Join our original "<span style="color: red">GIVE 0, GET 2</span>" program NOW!
+</div>
+
+See for yourself from this independent market analysis:
+
+|| || competitor || **G0G2** ||
+|| //You spend// || $400 || **$399.99** ||
+|| //You give// || 1 XO || **0** ||
+|| //You GET// || 1 XO || **1 XOXO** ||
+|| //Pay per view// || na || **charged on your card** ||
+
+=== A glimpse into the future ===
+
+The TLPC Consortium is proud to unveil its UpcomingProducts roadmap,
+with **enhanced collaboration and document sharing features**.
+
+=== What others are saying ===
+
+//I don't smoke nearly as much crack as I'm accused of//
+-- CosmicPenguin
+
+//"When are we going to stop prototyping and start writing code for real?"//
+-- DavidWoodhouse
+
+//"The wisdom of allowing Java programs to mess with physical memory is not a topic which should need further discussion here."//
+-- JonathanCorbet on the LWN Kernel Page
+
+//"They want me to be a whore!"//
+-- LinusTorvalds
+
+---
+
+Visit our [[http://www.mslinux.org/ | secret sponsor]]
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