* dual-boot with GRUB in the OS of your choice: preloaded with '''Ubloantu Linux''' and '''Windows EXbedded''' -- <span style="color: red">NEW!</span>
* Patented WI-FI Fonero technology: choose to be '''both a Bill and a Linus'''!
* UAC-CCS DRM and copy protection scheme for your **Genuine Advantage**!
- * Triple trackpad: simultaneously use both your hands and your nose!
+ * **Giant** triple-trackpad: simultaneously control up to 3 players in MMRPGs!
* Dual lead-acid **hot-swappable** battery packs for improved mileage!
* Dual **firewall-webfilter**: only access our PG-rated marketing web sites!
* Online library of downloadable politically correct, violence free, pointless **video games**!
* Automatically **charge your credit card** on every purchase made by your child!
</div>
-(Designed by the '''Department of Redundancy Departmenet''')
+(Designed by the '''Department of Redundancy Department''')
=== Smart Computer, Dumb Kid ===