The $200 Laptop is Coming! ¶
"We are putting a deluxe laptop in the hands of every privileged child in the world!" — Ebenezer Scrooge, TLPC CEO
A Laptop for the Elite ¶
A $rich$ set of features ¶
Our first product, the XOXO, comes with:
- wide-screen 16" display, 2000 ANSI lumen for perfect visibility even in full sunlight
- dual-core SMP: AMD Geode + Intel ULV — no need to choose!
- dual-channel, Double Data Rate Corsair PC200 memory
- dual-keyboard with independent layouts: type both in US and JP at the same time! (PATENT PENDING IN NIGERIA)
- dual-flash RAID1 storage technology for improved data reliability!
- dual-boot with GRUB in the OS of your choice: preloaded with Ubloantu Linux and Windows EXbedded — NEW!
- Patented WI-FI Fonero technology: choose to be both a Bill and a Linus!
- UAC-CCS DRM and copy protection scheme for your Genuine Advantage!
- Giant triple-trackpad: simultaneously control up to 3 players in MMRPGs!
- Dual lead-acid hot-swappable battery packs for improved mileage!
- Dual firewall/webfilter: only access our PG-rated marketing web sites!
- Online library of downloadable politically correct, violence free, pointless video games!
- Automatically charge your credit card on every purchase made by your child!
Designed by the Department of Redundancy Department.
Smart Computer, Dumb Kid ¶
If you really love your kids, then you must buy them the best on the market!
Designed from the ground up for the children of rich consumer countries: the laptop that grows along with your kids*.
With twice as many features, your children will learn twice as much! Think about it, you know it's true!
[*] we'll make sure you will have to upgrade it every year!
Charity is for wimps! ¶
See for yourself from this independent market analysis:
| competitor | G0G2 | |
| You spend | $400 | $399.99 |
| You give | 1 XO | 0 |
| You GET | 1 XO | 1 XOXO |
| Pay per view | na | charged on your card |
A glimpse into the future ¶
The TLPC Consortium is proud to unveil its upcoming products, with enhanced collaboration and document sharing features.
What others are saying ¶
I don't smoke nearly as much crack as I'm accused of — CosmicPenguin
"When are we going to stop prototyping and start writing code for real?" — DavidWoodhouse
"The wisdom of allowing Java programs to mess with physical memory is not a topic which should need further discussion here." — JonathanCorbet on the LWN Kernel Page
"They want me to be a whore!" — LinusTorvalds
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